:-) HUMOR: Funny Acquisitions Position announcement (not) (fwd) Mitch Turitz 31 Jul 1995 15:38 UTC

Humorous job announcement (not). -- Mitch
forwarded from LaVonne Jacobsen (of SFSU).  Thanks LJ!

  _^_                                                 _^_
( ___ )-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-( ___ )
 |   |                                               |   |
 |   |     Mitch Turitz, Serials Librarian           |   |
 |   |     San Francisco State University Library    |   |
 |   |     Internet: turitz@sfsu.edu                 |   |
 |   |                                               |   |
( ___ )-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-==-( ___ )
   V                                                   V

  "Outsourcing is a desperate remedy for management failure,
    not the criticism of catalogers." -- Michael Gorman,
       "Crisis in Subject Cataloging and Retrieval"
          June 25, 1995, ALA Conference, Chicago

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 28 Jul 1995 13:31:53 -0700 (PDT)
From: LaVonne Jacobsen <lavonne@mercury>
Subject: Funny Acquisitions Position announcement (not) (fwd)

The following is a fictious position announcement (unfortunately
it does not exist, yet).

Anticipated new position created due to expanding publisher's
marketing efforts and the collapse of overworked acquisitions
staffs. Responsible for coordinating returns of unsolicited
material from publishers in the legal field.

research to determine if item has in fact been ordered, research
to determine if item is already held by library, coordinating
with subject specialist or collection development librarian on
whether title should be kept, waiting for busy subject specialist
or collection librarian to find time for retention decision,
calling publisher for return authorization, waiting for
authorization to arrive in mail, coordination with
invoice/bookkeeping department to ensure payment is not made, if
payment is made by statement, contact publisher to request credit
memo, wait for credit memo to arrive, coordination with accounts
payable department to ensure credit is properly applied and copy
sent to publisher, adjustment of invoice to reflect postage/
handling charge, adjusting accounting and fund accounts, typing
letter to accompany book return, making copies of all paperwork,
maintaining files on returns, locating adequately-sized shipping
carton, going to supply closet to retrieve another roll of
packing tape, weighing box to determine shipping weight, sending
box(es) to mail room, processing next unsolicited title that has

REQUIREMENTS: Effective communication, interpersonal,
and strong problem-solving skills, limitless patience,
resiliency, sense of humor.

PREFERRED: Hockey goalie experience, understanding of used car salesmanship.

SALARY: this position is paid as piece-work, potential salary of $100K+.
Excellent benefits including extra vacation time for hardship
duty, paid therapy. Send resume and certificate of physical
stamina to:....